Transgressive – Involving a violation of accepted or imposed religious and/or social rules. Relating to art or literature in which orthodox moral, social, and artistic boundaries are challenged by the representation of unconventional behavior and the use of experimental forms.

I’m an emerging non-fiction writer working on a memoir about the many ways I transgress the culture and religion I was born into.

I began claiming my freedom through transgression as a teenager. I fought for freedom from the emotional grip of my narcissistic mother, from the cage of conformity in public education, and from the poisonous embrace of Christian fundamentalism. I knew at 15 that nearly everything I was taught about love was a lie. The love modeled for me at home and church was conditional, punishing, and required my submission rather than my autonomous participation. My heart told me that love was free and radically inclusive of all that is human. When I left home and the church I learned that I could claim my freedom and new ways of loving by transgressing the dominant culture’s rules for women.

It is by breaking the rules about women and emotional truth-telling that I found my voice as a writer. It is by breaking the rules of patriarchal motherhood that I raised two queer children who know themselves and feel whole. It is by breaking the rules regarding women and sex that I found the courage to attend and then produce radically inclusive erotic parties. It is by breaking the rules about intimacy and relationship that I learned how to have a healthy partnership, where power is equitably shared and hurt is accounted for. It is by breaking the rules regarding who and how I should love that I experienced belonging.  It is by breaking the rules about how to relate to God that I experienced the ecstasy of direct communion.

Transgression is necessary to my ability to thrive in a culture that endeavors to oppress my humanness. When I transgress I refuse to submit to culture’s story of superiority. Transgression is my road to liberation.

As of March 2022 I’m using this space to document my attempts to find meaning and spirituality after a years-long dark night of the soul.

My posts run on a spoonie schedule. Some months will have several posts, other months will have only one (one is my goal for maintaining some kind of consistency).