Autonomy & Interdependence

Yesterday I saw a claim in the cancel culture & accountability debate that "acknowledging our interdependence means letting go of the belief we are fully sovereign." The overall assertion is that accountability requires we give up some of our autonomy to the greater good. 

I strongly disagree.  Autonomy is the capacity to make an informed, *uncoerced* decision. If your interdependence involves coercion of any kind, then it isn't safe. 

Healthy interdependence doesn't ask us to give up our autonomy or sovereignty. Interdependence is an on-going autonomous decision, mutual commitment, and agreement. I'm in an interdependent relationship with my husband and every choice I make is autonomous because they don't try to coerce me. Same with my adoption triad. 

Accountability in my relationships isn't an obligation or demand, it's a mutually agreed commitment  to be willing to account and repair when we cause harm in order to maintain the integrity of our relationship. Willing accountability leads to repair and healing because our relating partners directly experience our willingness to take responsibility for our actions without coercion and that builds trust. We can't coerce people into agreement to accountability and then expect trust, healing, or repair to follow.